This is just a little piece of adoption etiquette.
My newest pet peeve is when people say to me, "Oh what color are Layla's moms eyes?" Or, "What does Layla's mom look like?" My conundrum? Do I politely answer there real question being asked which is about Layla's birth mother? Or do I take the opportunity to educate them on the appropriate way of asking about Layla's biological genetics and risk embarrassing them at the same time? Sometimes I chose to respond with, "Well, I have green eyes and I'm 5'4" but Layla's birth mother had brown eyes and is 5'6"." I really don't mean to sound condescending or irritated in my responses, but I get frustrated every time. I know I shouldn't even complain because I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful daughter in my life, but I'd like to be an adoption advocate.
Post Script: My intentions are never to embarrass or create an awkward situation... just to help increase awareness. And there's no hard feelings ever involved :)
2 Responses:
I am sadly someone who innocently made this mistake... but I corrected myself! I can totally see how that is annoying. Which is why I was totally embarrassed about it.
And so it begins! People don't even have a clue. Just wait until someone tells you that "when you have your own child you will love them more". I about knocked the lady out! Just smile! Thats what I try and do!
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