Holidays were hard when Kday and I were childless. We watched other families carry out traditions, help their kids write letters to Santa, and act out the manger scene on Christmas Eve. We wanted so badly to share our love with a baby. Two years ago we announced to our families our decision to adopt. I made this movie to try to help them understand our struggles and heartache.
adoption announcement from Kevin Day on Vimeo.
Every single day that I walk into Layla's nursery and I am welcomed by her sparkling eyes and big smile, I am reminded of how lucky Kday and I are this Christmas. Every time I'm driving and I look into the rear-view mirror and see Layla, it throws me into a scrambling pile of thoughts. The car is where I cry. For joy and complete, utter happiness usually. Sometimes I spend my drive trying to remember every detail of California. Other times it's spent humbly sifting over memories of our few moments with Layla's birth mother. Once and I while I'll even catch myself drudging up the pain of fertility treatments and years of failure. But mostly I just cry because I can't believe the greatness of the very moment that I'm living.
Today, the moment was singing Christmas carols to Layla while she smiled back at me through the rear-view mirror. I have driven that road ten thousand times on the way to my Dr.'s office, wishing that the news would be good for once. And there I was today, finally sharing my love for the season of Christ's birth, with my amazing gift from Him. My heart is literally so full sometimes that the only way for me to ease it from bursting with love, is to cry in thanks to my Heavenly Father. And then to spend a few quiet moments gazing into my daughters eyes and thanking her birth parents for loving Layla enough to sacrifice their own life, for their baby.
Adoption is common. But to stand back and look at it.... what a BIG deal it is. It is an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. experience that is beyond an explanation with words. There are no words that can describe the moments I share with Layla.
I am grateful for my past, the fight I had to get to where I am today. The view behind me is as great as the view ahead. Kday and I will no longer worry about another childless Christmas passing by. The future fight for more children to join our family is unsure, and not something we're focused on yet. We are here now, and it's just the beginning of the greatness we've been waiting for.
3 Responses:
Shan, I remember you showing that to me a little while after you adopted... we didnt know what joy was coming did we?:) We love little Layla! She was meant to be with you guys and the way she looks at you as her mother is adorable. She knows you are the one and only that can give her comfort. We love you!
That video was incredible. So beautiful. Wow. Can't really think of anything else to say. You guys are incredible. We love Layla. We love you guys.
I'm crying over here. What a journey!
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